Greetings, friends. My name is Bill Hyde, and I've been having the most singular experiences in Frostbluff. First, Mayor Goodenough dismissed me from my job for reasons unknown. As if that's not bad enough, I've been witnessing the most erratic behaviour from a slew of visiting heroes.
First, some hero will chase me from my freezing perch just west of a garbage-strewn picnic table. Then, three minutes later, after I've sneaksily managed to reappear in the same place, the same person will again approach me. Imagine my shock when, after I've braced myself for another shooing, this time said person will hand me a coin and NOT ask me to leave. I've seen lots of the same folks practice this schizophrenic behaviour every day for the past week.
I've seen people who want to give me a coin get mad at people who've just chased me away. I've had three people try to chase me away simultaneously. I've had people try to give me a coin at the same time other people are trying to chase me away. Despite my dire circumstances, I still think I'm in a lot better shape than they are. What are the heroes of Middle Earth drinking these days?
And, speaking of drinking, I'm situated in a place that allows me to see hero after hero jump over the ledge near the staircase across from me with a huge keg of beer strapped to their back. Just how much brew do these people think we need in Winter-home? And why do they all have the same unnatural fear of using staircases?
I also have a good view of these deranged people staggering over to the picnic table near my homeless home, breathing green haze, and stuffing themselves with food to the point of gastro-explosion. All I need to do to ensure a comfortable retirement is to open a Pepto-Bismol stand at my current location.
If the mayor will ever speak to me again, I will recommend to him that Frostbluff hire a team of psychotherapists to attempt to deal with next year's Yulefest visiting heroes.
Happy Holidays to all!
Sincerely,
Bill Hyde
First, some hero will chase me from my freezing perch just west of a garbage-strewn picnic table. Then, three minutes later, after I've sneaksily managed to reappear in the same place, the same person will again approach me. Imagine my shock when, after I've braced myself for another shooing, this time said person will hand me a coin and NOT ask me to leave. I've seen lots of the same folks practice this schizophrenic behaviour every day for the past week.
I've seen people who want to give me a coin get mad at people who've just chased me away. I've had three people try to chase me away simultaneously. I've had people try to give me a coin at the same time other people are trying to chase me away. Despite my dire circumstances, I still think I'm in a lot better shape than they are. What are the heroes of Middle Earth drinking these days?
And, speaking of drinking, I'm situated in a place that allows me to see hero after hero jump over the ledge near the staircase across from me with a huge keg of beer strapped to their back. Just how much brew do these people think we need in Winter-home? And why do they all have the same unnatural fear of using staircases?
I also have a good view of these deranged people staggering over to the picnic table near my homeless home, breathing green haze, and stuffing themselves with food to the point of gastro-explosion. All I need to do to ensure a comfortable retirement is to open a Pepto-Bismol stand at my current location.
If the mayor will ever speak to me again, I will recommend to him that Frostbluff hire a team of psychotherapists to attempt to deal with next year's Yulefest visiting heroes.
Happy Holidays to all!
Sincerely,
Bill Hyde